May be u see

I write as i cry
What if i would have tried,
Would my life be any different
From the monotony it turned to be...

Can i wake up from this sleep,
Can i make that leap!

Some say its worth it and some say it not ,
Would u be by my side when i take that turn,
Would u be the one holding me to take me beyond...

No you won't, cause you cant even see me,
My soul is bared like an open window
But you have to have eyes that can see me standing by...

I know you cant see..all u see is disguise...
I am right here if u could, but then i am no visible..and you can't yet see the invisible. .

And i stand and I wait for you to hold my hand  ..but u touch me like i never was...
But i am here like i always was..

Staring at the ceiling

I havent written any in a while
Thoughts come by and blur out before I type
Words form up but lose their meaning
Ideas light up but die out before they turn appealing

They say its good to write what you feel
That it is a way to heal
Words can touch your soul and revive your feelings and trigger those healings
But what should one do when all they can do is to stare at the ceiling

Lost in the void with mind blanked out
Holding my hands out to grasp the meaning
Meaning of why I just stare at the ceiling

Touched by love hated by life
Words fail me and a wild scream keeps prevailing

Sing Me

I would be a song for you
if my words could mean what my feelings say
i would be a song for you
if my words could say what feelings can't do

i know you know that i love you
i know you know that i am always gonna be around
but i still want you to know
i am living this life as your song

Sing me to know me
i am your lyrical ecstacy
hear me and you will know
the words I can never say aloud

All i ever was
was some words unspoken
then you put me in your song
a song that reigns my life as most beautiful sound

Things to be

Things that can be
Things which I can now see
Things which make my days a beautiful retreat

Like a feather in a storm
Still daring to go on
Knowing it may drown
But will dry out and flee
A little wind is all it will need

Spent time drowning in the storm
Worrying over why and what is going on
Never looking at the brighter side that can be
These are now things of past
A time gone as it is supposed to be

Flying in this new breeze
I can finally see
The colors all around
And the lessons I learnt while I couldn’t see

The hope the joy
The cheers the dreams
The smile the laugh
Are all good things to be

I want to say it

I want to say it
Say it all out loud
I want to rip my heart apart
With all these false thoughts

Can't say it, can't bear it
Can't do it, can't admit it

Let go of me my wild dreams
Let me be
Let me.. just let me be me

Leave me to what i am
Don't care, don't cry
Don't share, don't you dare

Let go of me my wild dreams
Let me be
Let me.. just let me be me

Living in the dream
That's what life has been
Let me wake up once again
Let it be my saving grace

Couldn't be further away
Couldn't be in this sway
Moments came and moments went
Time kept saying i am not your friend

I want to forgot and want a new start
Let me be my own guard
Let me just get this to start
Let me just... let me be a new born star

Everlasting part

where do i go from here
i am right back at the start
where do i look to find inspiration
when all i see is scars

letting go of what i want
letting myself into things i don't belong
why make myself do things i don't like
why waste the precious life i got

couldn't care less a year ago
but now i feel alone
now i feel i want more
something more than what can cure

love me a little care for me a lot
fold me in ur arms and hold me in ur heart
kiss me goodnight when the sun sets us apart
come closer each day lets make this life's everlasting part

CoMing TiMes...

Random thoughts,
Crazy vibes…
That’s what I have,
Since a long time…

Colorful life dreamy nights,
That’s what I would love,
To have in coming times.

Cheerful laughter,
Spark filled eyes…
That’s what I see coming on my side!

Life can change,
If we will for it to…
Nights can turn bright,
If we cheer for it to…

Love what we have,
Is what I have learned…
Don’t wait for miracles
They don’t happen but are earned!

Me no Wise...

If I feel like I write
Then why not write a good start
If I am feeling so wise
Why the deeds of wisdom so far!

I think that I thought as a wise
But it turned out, that I am quite naive!
It’s a time spent well
It’s a lesson that rings a bell!!

What would I do if I keep up the way?
What would I be if I couldn’t change someday?
What is it that would make me see the wise?
What will it be that will finally turn the tide?

Questions asked, never really answered,
Till came the time when doubts finally faltered..
Now I see the wisdom of not being me…
Now I see how being me turned out to be!

I can say for sure I am still no wiser than before,
But I know in my heart that another chance is for sure.
Chance to take a stock of life,
Time to put better thoughts in my mind…

No wonder I have been sad!
No surprise that I haven’t dared!
No wonder I am alone and every feeling is a scare!

Lesson learned with fingers burnt,
Leaves a mark that ages hold...
Don't make haste cause it's a big change,
But don't stand too long, else this chance is also gone!!

Life is worth a lot...

I made myself a promise
That I'll always stand apart..
Come the time to end
I will always keep my heart..

Life is a funny lie
Filled with dreams which makes us feel alive..
But when we face the real
We can't figure how to deal..

But i who wants to stand apart
Took my time to figure the real out!
It looks more scary than those dreams that keep alive
It's rather like a monster used to keep us in line

Its not what it appears to be
Its not scary at all!!
It just does that to make us feel
That life is worth a lot!

The pride that we feel
Everyday we take a part..
We smile and fill our heart
When with the fear we still move on..

It tells us quietly
Not to take it too lightly..
It tells us not to fall
When things are not that sparkly..

It says ever so slowly
Don't blow it all apart!
Come on stand up now
lets do this again from the start!

May be..

What is that makes us run for things we don't understand or as a matter of fact don't even know! Like for example i have decent life,completely awesome family, an it-can-get-better job (which is grt to have by today's standards) a great group of friends from different times in my life, basically most of the basic ingredients for staying happy and satisfied. But no, i just don't seem to be happy, and its not even that i miss having that someone special that much, ok yeah i do but its not what keeps bothering me (at least not as frequently as the other thing)..that other thing sometimes drives me nuts. It seems i am running after something i don't even know i want, its like i want a grander life, not in terms or money and stuff but just probably grander in meaning, something that's may be worth all the trouble.

It sucks that we mostly end up living life in form of a dull routine, get up go to office come back have some snack may be some drinks and sleep. I mean what the heck! what are we doing...ain't we supposed to be the most intelligent creatures on this whole planet! and what do we do with all that grey stuff in mind!!! nothing! at least i am doing pretty much nothing to feel good about..yeah may be when you party and you are sloshed u feel Oh! man! this rocks! but next day all you are left with is a bad hangover!...

Why is it that we always want to run soo fast and miss out on small specials all around us waiting to be found..may be we should spend more time catching up those small pieces of happiness that we can rather than waiting for something big to happen, may be life doesn't need to have a grander meaning but life is about feeling free of all social bondage's, may be its about picking those small pieces and filling up the void day by day rather than waiting for that one stroke of luck to do it all.

Every single day i spend half my day thinking about what i should make of my life, and i always end of questioning myself, what do i really want. The point is may be i am not supposed to know, may be life is all about finding it out..

May be what i am doing is all wrong, like reaching the end without a start, like trying to know the result of a gamble before even the hands are dealt or before you have even bet a penny..may be life is like an empty jar which we fill with things we love...may be we feel so sick cause we have filled it with wrong stuff...may be its just about letting go off things you don't like and replacing it with all things you want to cherish!

Oh! there are soo many may beeees that its like and decision tree with infinite nodes...is life really meant to be so complex or are we just too good at making it so...hmmm...another thing to dwell on !!!!

Strangers!

Strangers come and strangers go,
but there are some we can't ignore

They talk to us and tell how they have been,
and amazing is, they know how we feel!!!

We start to know ,
till they ain't strangers anymore.
But then we see the real side to see, that they ain't strangers no more

Wish they were, cause then they were fine,
we had little talks and they were sweet like wine.
Then they become someone we have known
and that's the time when opinions start to show!!!

Then they become what we never wanted around,
someone who always got a line they want to sound.
They don't care whether it fits or not
all they can see that they can just stick around.

Well hello there, the stranger to me,
had you stayed that way, we could have lived and let things be.
But of course you can't, now that you have changed with time,
I wish once again, you could be what you were, and may just be mine.

The strangers i love the strangers i like
wish it was but its not and its fine!

And I just fall apart

Take me away
for just a fleeting moment...
Let me see the life
Life where i charm on.

Never ran away from what i have
sometimes even smiled on some song,
but never have i ever felt
that this is the place i belong.

I keep searching for that missing piece
of the unmade puzzle my life is
i keep searching for that missing peace
of the unending maze my mind is

I think of it a lot
may be i am just missing the point
something that's just obvious is not
something that's just here is rot

Who is it that i am hailing,
why is it that i am flailing,
How is it that i am bailing,
and i just fall apart!

Words & Moments

Sit here and talk to me
...tell me what you feel.
Get up lets walk around
let me show you what i seek...

There's always time for things,
but sometimes it fall shorts.
Not cause it ends in between,
but cause we just fall apart.

Don't let the moment go,
it might never come around again.
Don't let the sun go down,
we might not stand through the day.

Not saying I can't stay,
but promise I will not.
I know that its rude to say,
but can't find a better way to remark...

I could stay here forever
if you just say the right words.
Though they might not mean as much
if spoken when they are asked!

You can take your time,
but don't just let it flow...
Remember we came here a long while ago!

Things happening within and around!

I have spent last few days thinking, though that's what i do mostly but somehow it sounds the right way to start Blogging!. Still surprised to see myself doing it...at first i was scared not of what i might write but what would folks say...is my english gud enough, am i using the right words...all this bothered me a lot and made me stay back from screaming out my mind aloud...but now...after all that thinkin i mentioned in the start ... i decided, what the heck, did i ever care about it while writing my exams, did i ever really care about what people think especially in a way that would make me restrain myself from doing what i want!! the answer as obvious was a big NO.

Another worry was the fear of the putting my thoughts across...for anyone to read and opine on their own accord...never been someone who is open to opinions on the personal part of life but i think i missed out on lotta good being tht way!

this is just the start, don't worry i ain't planning to brag about myself all the while...plan to put my thoughts about things happening within and around!!

RiSE AGain

It seems like a life might just come by
If I make that turn in the road
Don’t really know
Can’t be so sure
But yet there is always that one thing
One thing we call hope

Like the first breath we take
Like the first smile we break
Life will rise again and again
After times full of cry and pain

Don’t miss on the chance
Don’t run away from the dance
Things will fall in place
If you just keep trying
Trying when it pains
Trying when you see no gains

It’s a test for the best
Don’t be a part of rest
Don’t look back on what you can’t erase
Make that turn knowing its life that you would face

Like the first breath we take
Like the first smile we break
Life will rise again and again
After times full of cry and pain

NoW...

I am done being sad
I think I will be frank
I will let me see the way I have been
Sullen and tired, fallen and disgraced
Like a broken leaf lying under the rain

Now is a new start
Now is the beginning
Now is when I will smile
Now is when I would rise

I will not walk with my head turned down
With eyes all red and a gloom which all but marks my doom
I am done thinking about what left me behind
I will not whittle the little that’s left of me

Now is a new start
Now is the beginning
Now is when I will smile
Now is when I would rise

Let them know what they left of me was enough
Enough to rebuild my own self the way I see it in rewind
Not cowed down by nightmarish nights
Not tearful over what I believed naively was rightfully just mine

I will dream the dreams
I will not be bogged down by the failures I have seen
I will live if not succeed, on terms of my own
On terms of my own, with a life like the one I had dreamed

Now is a new end
Now is the new beginning

Smile & Breathe

Thoughts just make me wonder

Pain seeps into the life

Sometimes the smile I remember

But it fades as lights arise

Well what to say of it

Is it pain or hate that I feel!

Can I stand up and look far!

Can I smile and breathe

I walk on like a life which just goes on

Even when I touch or feel

In my sense its just nothingness that creeps

At times when I am lost and confused

Like now like forever

I just speak to my dead dreams

Even they fade away from me

Well what to say of it

Is it pain or hate that I feel!

Can I stand up and look far!

Can I smile and breathe

Thoughts just make me wonder

Pain seeps into the life

Sometimes the smile I remember

But it fades just fades away .... Like a tree with its last leaf

About Me!

Don’t like to fiddle around when a simple word would suffice

Never known to use words when eyes could recite

I call a spade a spade and I hate when people evade

Care in disguise is what my heart seems to like

Love I thought I know but finally no more than unknown

Trust is what I hold at the top in my eyes

Friends is what I feel, I have been blessed from divine

Have never stopped to dare at times when I care

Though honestly, those times becoming rare J

Overall I am quite nice if not so simple and refined

Have managed not to lose my heart but kinda lost in my mind

I wish someday I would find

Things that would redefine

What I am and what I can!

What I Could Have Been!

You took some of me from me

And now I don’t even know what I could have been

Dreams didn’t come true

My heart just turned blue

My eyes fill up with tears when in my mind I still hear

The words that you had said to me

When you were close to me and when you walked away from me

I can’t clearly think or find

What it is that you left behind

I am lost like a bird in the sky

When winds have changed and directions redefined

Why is it I still dream of you

And worst I cherish every dreaming moment of you

I find it hard to wake myself up

Knowing there’s no way I would find you, like I find you there

I am not sure what I am turning out to be

Without you by my side to tell me all that I could be

I fear my own mind, cause’ alone there’s nothing I define

What I lost I can’t find

What I have keeps slipping out of my mind

Being lost was fine till there was hope in divine

But hopes been burnt the dreams been shattered

On my own doorsteps my heart stopped the flutter

My mind is filled with haze my eyes are all dazed

What could I have been had you stayed with me

A rhetoric in my mind is what I could have been had you stood by me

Knowing I can’t find an answer that would define

How my life could have been

Which went away as you walked away

Taking from me some of me and what I could have been

इस आलम इस तन्हाई में खुद पर यूँ हैरानगी होती हे
की क्या थे और क्या हो गए, यकीं भी न आता हे
और हमारी इस हैरानगी का कुछ तमाशा सा बन जाता हे

समय के साथ सपने बदल गए
शायद खुद की सोच थी या फिर जिंदगी में ऊलझ गए
सपनो का तो इतना दुःख नहीं पर हम कुढ़ कितना बदल गए !

किस का सहारा ले दिल जब करहता हे
किस का साथ मांगे जब न पास न दूर , कही कोई नज़र न आता हे

तुम्हे पाने की चाहत तो न रही पर
दिल की एक बात पर यकीं आता हे
समझा ले चाहे लाख खुद को पर
अभ भी प्यार तुम पर ही आता हे

हंसेंगी दुनिया मेरे खयालो पर , येः भी समझ आता हे पर क्या करे इस पागल दिल को कुछ और न सुझाता हे
तुम चाहे दूर रहो या पास चाहे हम तुम्हे आपना कहे यअ आपने जीवन की अआस ज़िन्दगी तो बस वही थम गयी ज़हा तुम्हारा जाता हुआ चेहरा नज़र आता हे